As your life changes so does the way you view the world, others, what you have done, what you could have done, and the way you see yourself. This is going to happen no matter what you do. what are you suppose to do with all these thoughts.
This last year my life has been toss, flipped, shaken, and crazy, with that being said it isn’t a bad thing. It made me changes my outlook and let me regain my goals in life.
At the start of 2009 i had no direction, or real goals. I just lived everyday one at a time. I wasn’t always the nicest person to be around, or really want to be around others. I would get up work, drink, sleep, repeat. at times it was fun but most of the time everything just feel numb, and truthfully that was the way i wanted it. Then I met Kate i enjoyed being around her and everything started to feel like i was happy,which i wasn’t for such a long time, it was nice to be enjoying life. Then the next major thing that brought happiness into my life was finding out that Kate was pregnant with Xavier. With all the responsibilities that came with being a Dad I stepped up to the plate. I thought i was doing good, everyone told me i was, but i was still taking a lot for granted.
2010 was a year full of new experiences and life changing events. With all the work getting ready for the baby, I worked on making some habits disappear like drinking, and partying. Which i pretty much did well on doing i Stopped drinking and started working on having more of a home life. Even with that i was still being immature is a sense. i took a lot of things like i used to like having extra money iin my pocket and not caring about it (looking back it was a dumb idea). I lost my job a week before Xavier was born which was a double sided knife. On one side i got to be home with Kate after Xavier was born and get to experiences things most father don’t get to enjoy but on the other side I had to deal with less money coming in making it so that i had to make the money i had coming in work and last. I not sure if i could have done another way if i would, these last 6 months have been perfect in my eyes. There was some ups and downs but i enjoyed it all and all. It has given me a chance to grow as a father, a husband and as a person in general.
I am going to be looking forward to what happens in my life with fresh eyes, and happiness. I have my own family that i love, i may not have all the material things there but i am working on it to give them the best that i can. It has taken me 23 years to get to this point; with happiness and joy; pain and sadness; and ups and downs.
